Honest Questions

Woke up this morning  With a feeling I couldn't shake Took in a breath And heard my heart break What do you do When all you'd hoped for Disintegrates  To love is an act of faith It is a chance , a risk you take  It's a single drop of water,  Eventually turning into a lake In the scorching heat It's a single drop of water That will not evaporate refreshing a soul from its own defeat  Of scars from wars, felt, But never actually seen To love is an act of faith Armies of hope  Marching in unison Against every single thought  Keeping us in our self built prison Chained to ghosts of what and where you might've been  To love is an act of faith  Against waves of self hate Against everything you wish you could be But what kind of life are we living if we don't believe? love is an act of faith  It's only found in the gift ourselves Sometimes you gotta walk out on the ledge Hear...

Love breathes on a tiny seedling Little by little it starts growing Planted in the fertile soils of wisdom near the bank where living waters flowing trickle down onto each small leaf Life created Love breathes Every leaf a chapter of your life Your roots embedded down deep Your design, still a mystery Roots embedded deep Into the soils of mother nature Into this earth   Love breathes

Life it's all the same we're all lacking perfection prisoners to our negligence forever seeking that brighter day Freedom awaits in the silence watches quietly in truth it's visible in the perched eagle it is the autumn of youth and only in our growing surviving these tangled roles which cover our paths will we discover the peace to the war embedded in each one of us

As I was walking down the street, I heard a familiar sound, It was like the beat of a drum  But came from the ground  Following the sound like a dog out on an afternoon hunt, l tip toed, One step at a time  To the sound, closer I creeped  Past the fancy restaurants ,  Designer boutiques, Into a dark alley on the side of the street  The heavy, resounding beat began to recede  As I got closer and closer it became very dulled out, weak  I stood there behind a dumpster  In the corner of that alley... Listening for the sound .... Nothing Not a thing Not a pound or a pulse  Not a thump or a beat Looking closely to the ground In a far and tiny corner  Trickled a tiny red flow Removing an old newspaper thrown over it Covering my eyes at the horror Lying before me... Was a barely bleeding heart No longer beating This old heart- submitted to trial after trial  Used and forgotten li...

I am an ember blowing in the wind Tumbling and winding My petals drifting weightlessly Dreams blown away By an unexpected breeze My failures, shortcomings Make me human I am patient, I am fearless , I am beauty , I am determined I am broken in many pieces Scattered and shattered I am a single rose growing, In a field of sunflowers I have been guilty, I have been blind I'm the words without their music This, I have yet to find I am courageous, Yet I fear Love.... Sometimes I cry I am a fighter, Though sometimes that's not what it seems I've fought for so long But it hasn't gotten the best of me A lover yet to feel loved a believer.... My gift is my suffering The tears and the pain that keep transforming me All these scars, have left their marks with each scar another note is hung harmonies need composing I'm a song yet to be sung When heard Like a voice in the wind I will be gone

Life cracks through thickened darkness  But don't be deceived  Hope can come when black arises  When it's heaviness' weight  Keeps you awake  And the only thing you long  Is to see the smallest sliver of light  Maybe we've been wrong all our lives  Always searching for that source of light  Somewhere along the way we forget why  We get caught up in these stars falling  So worried about the future We forget  Time is gone in the inhale an exhale of a single breath  Forget each breath is a blessing  From the anxiety in your heart  Wanting to run before you can walk  Is keeping  you crawling with eyes wide   shut  We forget  Light needs darkness to shine  Beauty is only truly present beneath the ugliness we all try to hide  We'll find it once we stop trying and learn to just be Yes we will find our peace The moment we understan...

I wrote this (musicless ) song two and a half years ago for a friend who passed from Cancer. Aunt Belle- the way you carried yourself despite the pain, was one of a kind. You never failed to have a smile on your face. Thank you for showing me that Love will always TRUMP PAIN & life is too beautiful to allow pain to dictate It . Our pain is only temporary, but what it is preparing us for is far more glorious! RIP Aunt Belle’s Song June 6, 2014 There is a trembling child living deep inside of me Afraid of the dark,, and everything she cannot see this trembling child many nights finds herself softly weeping a soul’s desperate cry of freedom and mercy A soul whose somehow come to find beauty in suffering In my blindness I have known sight in my darkness I’ve seen light In my solitude I have felt the embrace of Our Lady In my sadness and dismay I have heard songs of angels through my most difficult days There’s a man I met as I was walking Down the beaten path, ...

Life is a thin thread ....delicate and beautiful . You weave in and out of people's lives Emotion clings to words Like you to life Darkness surrenders to light With just the slightest twinkle spreads like needlework in the midnight Sky Love cannot be explained Pain cannot be justified It's like the last cold wind On the Equinox of a summer night With a trembling hand We reach forth Into the unknown  , Our emerging songs, Our destinies outlined Inside the weakest of hearts... The relentless seekers Stored up hope Yet undefined, undefined, undefined Is this life that you're living Boundless and infinite? Our destinies Intertwine Culminating... Into one path The very path I'd been evading Now I find myself interlaced With the one thing I was trying to escape... Two pieces of tree, four broken nails, And a pain in my heart which I could not exonerate A grave weight on my soul Accompanied by anxiety and later by tears stumbling I fell, Unste...

Open up my lungs Let them breathe The air of a new day Lift this hundred pound boulder off my fragile chest The crushing weight  suffocates me Left breathless in this cloud of smoke A dense haze of unfulfilled purpose Seems to follow me Downpours of anxiety tighten around my chest and like an anaconda wrapping Words of melancholy constrict me Predispositioned fatality binds me Falsehood entraps me Seducing you into only seeing the storm Oblivious to the unveiling sunlight That’s slowly awakening Open up my lungs Let them breathe in The air of a new day Lift this hundred pound boulder off my fragile chest The crushing weight suffocates me Aloud I cry a repentant plea Open my lungs Let them breathe Voice trembling Troubled thoughts kill my confidence And like a nine thousand pound elephant sitting upon me Pressure accumilates Strained breaths escape me Open up my lungs Let them breathe in The air of a new day Lift this hundred pound boulde...

There I was  Lost in the middle of the woods Thought I heard your voice  Or was it the hoarseness  Heard in muted noise  A Broken soul wails At the brute reality  This life entails Consequenuces of the wrong choice  Encounters with the roads of our past  Truths of our selves unsurpassed  I give you my Silence  wrapped in every single tear you  made fall from my bloodshot eyes, Lies I give you the words  All the empty words that became promises dressed in deceit, Lies I give you the unnumbered prayers said for you Clothed in non existent comprise Lies I gave you my past, Now I take it back , Time is fleeting, Mine, too precious to abandon to  feelings  Emotions claimed Ah, but your actions have spoken loudly  There is nothing left to say I give you my silence  Wrapped in every tear That fell from these red, bloodshot eyes Lies  Each moment- ...

He is Risen, Alleluia! Happy Easter! "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!" I didn't think the rain would ever stop  Wasn't sure that Sun would come up Unsure of the strength I possessed  And though I'd quit searching   You sought me out Despite my weakness  Despite my doubt How can we say we love  If it is nothing but selfish Love and hate cannot both be on our tongues  One cancels out the other one Loving isn't a matter of flattery, Of barren words  Devoid of living  Every word is an action in love  Whose story develops in giving  For who has lost themselves in the twistedness of existing  Merely for the material and false praises of men  Men who live for all that fades Who only seek their own good Leading to the untruth of what love really is  For it is only in loving others without measure where loves true fire can burn  Where  we f...

And the world waits... We wait in anticipation , in hope, in humble expectation of what is to come.  We wait in final preparations for that which has been promised to us. For the past forty days we fasted, and sought, prayed and  offered up, ridding our souls of everything that kept us bound. And then the great Tridiuum- where we layed everything down, allowing Him to wash our feet, çleansing us of anything and everything that might seperate us from him. Friday he leaves us with a new commandment, 'love them as I have loved you ,' as our Saviour hung on two wooden beams. Love was his driving force . It wasn't because of who you are, who you aren't, what you've done, or what you haven't done. He didn't do it bc of what we have or own, or what we don't have.  It was pure and simple, he did it out of his love for us. While we were sinners. He isn't impressed by how much money we make or how many cars we own- he's interested in the salvation of o...

Jesus died for us and the whole earth rumbled. Now the earth—and we—are silent. The challenge is to recognize our fear today. We are human. We will die. We do not know what will happen after that. But we also know that Jesus was human. Jesus died. And, he rose from the dead. Too often we forget that fact.

Cancer- I hate the word. It is one of the worst and most common worldwide, pandemics. Most people have been affected by this terrible illness personally in some way. The first encounter I had with this horrid disease was at age three. My great grandmother- colon cancer. I had no idea just how close to home this home wrecking burden would come. Feb 1996 my grandfather is diagnosed with stage four bone cancer.  June 24, 1996 he is called home at 57. November 1998- my five year old Godbrother passes after having over fourteen brain surgeries since the day he was born , trying to remove numerous brain tumors. June 1997- grandmother has a mastectomy to try and remove cancer found in right breast August 1997- mom diagnosed with breast cancer  May 2009- best friend's dad passes due to cancer -92 June 2010- friend's dad diagnosed with cancer in shoulder. Still in treatment to this day . Has been in and out of remission for years. May 2015- FrHarris , my parish pr...

When your breaths all become labored sighs years seem to be flashing before your eyes When the ocean of tears has no end in sight The weight so heavy It's burying you alive Questions come and questions go Pain can be like a long tunnel underground... Amidst a tundra of darkness In a land unknown Let not your heart be troubled In me you'll always find, The strength has woven us Together Love conquers all, Yes, Even time Though the vision seems blurred Can't see why you're still here keep your head up This too will heal It soon shall pass, Courage shall replace The hurt and the heartache The sadness and pain Let not your heart be troubled In me you'll always find The strength has woven us Together Love conquers all, Yes, Even time It is the struggles that unite us Our humanity, weaknesses and doubts Our need for one another, To be lifted up when we are about to drown Let not your heart be troubled In me you'll always find ...

Nightfall shades have come dow n silence of night engulfs this town Dawn arrives two hours behind I sit in bed trembling, watching hours pass me by Lightning strikes hits the same place twice the hues of thoughts prayers, offered up a wandering soul finds the light Hours fly like birds in formation seeking shelter from the cold nights Our tears mark the trail, the way we shall take tear stained paths all conjoining tied together like ribbons brought together by suffering Lightning strikes hits the same place twice the hues of thoughts prayers, offered up a wandering soul finds the light Searching, we're all searching Hoping someday we might find, the missing note in our opera the sonnet's ending rhyme Lightning strikes hits the same place twice the hues of thoughts prayers, offered up a wandering soul

Lilac Memories Life and death Such a fine line Dying to take those few breaths Wishing you could turn back time The frailty of this life What do you do when all you can do is wait Hoping the inevitable never comes Praying for another day It's killing me, Each minute brings me closer to my going insane A heart cut open and bleeding Trying to bargain with fate I didn't want this day to ever come Hoped the nightmare wouldn't ever arrive Now helplessness is the hour hand In this race against time Minute by minute, I sit here waiting for something , A breath .... the smallest sign Like the scent arising from lilacs, every single spring So will the mourning from my broken soul rise and sing Stories of love Stories of loss Lavender memories How strange that death should sing Ascending with the sweet fragrance Of life's delicate blooming and the confounding prick of this eternal sleep Of lilac memories

Love is an act of faith It calls for hope and patience It's a tranformation Humility without question tt sustains you and will make you shine like the sun through overcast skies It's realizing there's more to life then about whose wrong' or about whose right Allowing the silence to settle in Letting prayers rise waiting in confident silence While you  lift up your eyes And recongnize Love is an act of faith beneath it all Beauty quietly lyes

Beauty of the Moment             Life is a challenge. It can be exhausting as we head down the tumultuous path that hopefully will someday lead us to happiness. Routines get old, pretty soon we lose sight of what’s true. It’s like riding a carousel, the more it goes around and around, the more things seem to blend together into one big blur. The flashing lights of the ride persuading you to get on, the children running up and down the middle of the ride, anxiously choosing which horse they will choose.Just for a moment childhood's sheer delicacy- Innocence. The wonder of living each day in eager expectation of what it will bring. The beauty found in every single moment of our lives, treasuring the very air we breathe for, “who says we have been promised tomorrow?” Our time here is short, for it is like a speck of dust in the sands of time, and gone in the simple wink of an eye. Have you ever watched a home movie or looked at old photos, and felt the exact s...

More than a few times I've been asked what my exactly inspired my writing . As much as I hate to admit it, my writings  are birthed from the daily battles I face with my health . Most are about my inner wars in self acceptance and embracing my cross instead of dragging it around.  The past two entries were in response to this:

Blank pages fill your book oh but let your fingers do the reading heart reads what eyes don't see ears  hear what sight denies gentle winds breathe life hallelujahs sung within our troubled souls Rise.... Rooted in humility courage meets strength when both are confronted by change Echoes of the each and every victory that will come to be in time silently proclaimed with every new morning yet, hidden within the confines of every soul our truths will sing loudly perched upon the wings of faith

Days, they blend together like watercolor on a palette Sunsets, dissolve like tears into the sunrise Get up, you tell yourself the  day, it dances round you like a rose bush encircling thorns poke at your wounds stained reminders of everything that stings My heart, it hurts, and like land from drought filled days... parched and dry, it thirsts I may be broken and hurting, but I know my worth You can't hide the stake knife, when your hands are covered In red Days, they blend together like watercolor on a palette Sunsets, dissolve like tears into the sunrise Stars, so many, countless thoughts not worth much more than a penny, stars shine, dreams outlive our worries and fears burning words into the another borrowed night life's daybreak is overcome by the soft glow of a quickly approaching twilight

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there’s a deafening silence so loud I can’t hear myself think echoing down these empty hallways the blank white covers walls of memories When pain becomes so familiar It’s forever knocking at your door loneliness has become your best company   See there once was a story unfolding like footprints covered by the ocean’s tide beneath it time kept flowing but never seen on either side   This silence can get so loud It’s enough to drive a crazy man wild memories can seem so alive this life in the past can make you blind When your favorite guest is an empty chair best listener a ghost you don’t even know is there It’s like an open wound that won’t stop bleeding Hope drowned out by bloody despair because when the sun comes up at three am you find comfort costumed as agony the best harmonies are heard in the sound of tears you’ve cried Fear becomes the songs reprise   See there once was a story unfolding like footprints covered by the ocean’s tide beneath it time kept flowing but...

Time escapes me yet I find myself running after numbers like a child chasing it's dreams taken off on a midnight train I am left here wondering looking for answers where there aren't any hoping against hope as each hour passes by though I know they're not in vain the duration of these moments feels like a lifetime Purpose is a riddle laid out before us revelation's whispers written on the hills steps unaligned destination spilled before us like a glass of milk There are so many questions tormenting my heart still They just leave me restless Another night, another worry, and it all makes me wonder... Overtired , hurting, eyes What could Love was all I could provide roots firmly planted centuries of courage extracted to reveal a reckless warrior whose bravery was overtaken by indifference the cost of a hostage living a pauper's life There are so many questions tormenting my heart still They just leave me restless Another night...

Miss you DanniG